7 Teachings from The Courage to be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi

Last Updated on October 9, 2024 by The Unbounded Thinker

“The Courage to be Disliked” by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi is written as a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man who is dissatisfied with life. The book has several teachings that help readers live happily and authentically. In this video, I will only share with you seven powerful teachings from the book.

Teaching 1. You Decide to be Unhappy

When you experience unhappiness, you must not blame unhappy circumstances or situations for making you unhappy. Instead, realize that you are unhappy because you have believed that being unhappy is good for you.

Teaching 2. Why You Hate Yourself

Extreme low self-esteem is the reason why you hate yourself. This low self-esteem arises from focusing on your shortcomings rather than strengths, and the failure to make a firm decision to start liking yourself.

Teaching 3. Don’t Compare Yourself to other People

Focus on moving in the right direction without comparing yourself to anyone. Only compare who you are today with the ideal version of yourself. In other words, recognize your potential for growth and improvement based on your own standards, rather than feeling inadequate by looking at others’ achievements or qualities.

Teaching 4. Competing with Others Makes You See Them as Your Enemies

When you are obsessed with competing, you’ll eventually feel inferior or superior to your competitors as you’ll always think about either beating or losing to them. This mindset will change your perception of your competitors, making you see them as enemies who are always ready to attack you.

Teaching 5. The Danger of Desire for Recognition.

The desire for recognition will result in loss of motivation when you realize that your efforts are not being acknowledged. Moreover, this desire will encourage you to live other people’s lives by following their expectations.

Teaching 6. Live Like You are Dancing

Life is about fully engaging with the present moment rather than focusing on future goals. Just as when one dances, the joy and purpose are found in the act itself, not in reaching a specific point, the same applies to life. Realize that contentment comes from being immersed in the dance of life without worrying about whether you are progressing toward some distant goal.

Teaching 7. Boasting is an Inverted Feeling of Inferiority

People who love boasting have low self-esteem. They feel inferior, and they boast to compensate their feelings of inadequacy, which arise from the fear that nobody will accept them the way they are. By seeking validation and admiration from others through boasting, they try to mask or overcome their low self-esteem.