Why Having Friends Is Overrated

Last Updated on February 28, 2024 by The Unbounded Thinker

Today, we are told to have friends because friendships are important on the path to success, give us a sense of belonging, reduce stress, boost our self-esteem, motivate us to reach our goals, and increase happiness.

I agree that friends are important, but I also think friendships are overrated because not all friends provide the purported benefits of friendship.

Many people are unhappy and depressed despite having friends. In fact, when you take a closer look, their friendships might be a major cause of unhappiness

Today, friendships cause competition as friends strive to show each other how they are doing well in life. This competitive atmosphere causes anxiety and self-doubt by resulting in the pressure to excel and maintain an image of success. Individuals who fail to maintain the image of success promoted by their friendships might become secretly resentful, envious, and depressed.

The pressure to succeed in friendships has prevented many individuals from opening up to their friends when facing financial difficulties. They prefer to ask for help from family and other people who are not close friends because they do not want to appear inferior or unsuccessful to their friends.

I used to be a safe haven before dumping many people I called friends. I realized that many people asked me for financial help, despite having friends who were more financially stable than me, because I was less invested in their image of success. They avoided borrowing money from their ‘close’ friends to maintain a facade of competence and self-sufficiency within their friend group.

I mainly think having friends is overrated because we avoid sharing our biggest problems with our friends out of fear that they might disclose them to others, judge us, and even use them against us. This shows that deep down, we know that our friendships are not fully trustworthy.

Most of the time we deal with our problems alone. We try relying on ourselves to overcome obstacles and find solutions but most of us fail because we are mentally weak and spiritually immature. We then end up in depression despite having ‘close friendships.’

Most of us have realized that our friendships cannot provide us with adequate help when we are experiencing difficulty. Some friends might want to help us but their personal problems and issues prevent them from fully supporting us. Others intentionally distance themselves from us when the going gets tough. Mostly, our family members are the only people willing to fully support us when we are going through a major difficulty.

You’ll only realize that most of your friends are useless and only a few of them and your family truly love you when you become severely ill or go broke. You’ll be so sad to realize that the sense of security you felt, which arose from having friends was an illusion. This realization will be good for you because you’ll eventually discover the importance of self-reliance, the illusion of friendship, and how friendships are overrated.

I am not discouraging you from establishing friendships by arguing that they are overrated. I just want you to stop over-relying on friends and realize the importance of becoming more independent and less co-dependent. I also want you to know that your family members are the most important people in the world and you should always put them first.

I agree that friendships are important and beneficial and I have four to five strong friends I fully trust who have helped me on the journey of life. But at the same time, I know that they are not fully reliable because they have issues to deal with and at the end of the day, I only have myself, and for this reason, I must commit to cultivating self-reliance.

SHALOM.